Home > Projects


UK | 2011-14




In-Finite is an interface between live art, history and social media performance. Our goal is to create a flow between dance performance and technology across the virtual and physical world, which engages audiences at each stage of research, development and creation through our exploration into your hidden stories and secrets.


In-Finite builds on recent Research and Development which was funded by Arts Council England and supported by Laban, DanceDigital, South East Dance and Kettle’s Yard.


The work will be premiered on the 8th of March 2013 at Rich Mix.


Secrets have existed throughout time. Secrets are everywhere. Everybody wants to know a secret. And everybody knows that when somebody tells you their secret, you grow a special bond with them. “Shhh! don’t tell anyone”. Ok, I won’t. And now we know each other better. IJAD Dance Company uses secrets as a key to unlock the hidden side of Britain’s cultural identity with the intention of celebrating it. We want to embed our In-Finite dances into the heart of Britain’s clandestine multicultural psychologies and to rejoice in them.


With Shhh! IJAD’s objective is to create a web-based collaborative interface in which anyone could inform the making of the final installation and site-specific performance.

When you tell us a secret, it is uploaded anonymously online and you can watch our interpretations danced out on YouTube.



Want to share your innermost, hush-hush moments with us? By donating a secret you will become part of our project. Your secret could re-emerge as a musical motif, as part of a costume, a part of the set, a photograph we will use, an aroma, a gesture, a movement, a dance, a film or maybe a spoken word – will you recognise it when you see it?


There are lots of ways you can share what you would rather hide from everybody else with us. Don’t worry – we will respect your privacy and keep the secret anonymous. We won’t judge the secrets. We never have. We never do. We never will.


The first way is to leave a secret in the comment box. You see it just below? Invent a name for yourself and post it. Done!


You don’t just have to tell your secret to us by writing in the box below. You can record it and send it to us, you can send us a piece of music, a drawing or a painting, a photograph…


Email us at: hello@ijaddancecompany.com


Send us a SoundCloud attachment


Leave us something in Dropbox, or WeTransfer


Tweet a secret: @Shhh 2013 (but remember, you might not be anonymous on Twitter!)

And don’t forget to follow Shhh! on Facebook.


IJAD regularly streams the work we are doing in the rehearsal room live over the internet.

And our next performance is coming up at the end of November. Tune in. Come and see!

Watch this space

  • IJAD Dance Company

    Prior to the launch of this site we were collecting secrets at: http://infinitepublicsecrets.wordpress.com/ Here are all the untold stories/secrets that were posted there:

    1. I get a knot in my stomach when I speak to my father lately. We are not communicating well and I think we are holding back, secret reason for that: May be he is afraid I am a Lesbian.

    2. My beloved father I found out from your oldest daughter my big sister that you had gone to the funeral of your true love(r) she was L

    3. I always loved my best friend!

    4. It’s amazing how difficult it is for me to write a secret, or to think of a secret, or even ……face a secret. Though I think that my fears is my biggest secret. Many different fears.

    5. I secretly think that its my fault that my nan fell from the stool… I was only little & I wanted the biscuit tin from the top of the cupboard. She climbed on the stool to get it and fell backwords. My mum has always said that it was after her fall that she was never the same.

    6. I sometimes cry and scream so much when I am on my own because I ‘m so sad that I can’t have children….. I sometimes feel that I ‘m in the wrong life.. I can’t believe that I will die never having known what it feels like to be pregnant, to feel my body kick, to tell my husband “I’m pregnant”, to give birth, to hold my own baby. I don’t tell my husband when I cry.

    7. Who am I? I have eyes and no mouth just flesh.

    8. I left a trail of blood across the fading red carpet in soho. The corridors were half lit.

    9. I think horrible thoughts about my work colleague and video her on my mobile phone when she is not looking.

    10. I accidently pushed another little girl off a climbing frame at infant school.

    11. I want so much more than this. I need more meaning.

    12. Nobody knows how sad I am at not seeing/hearing from my daughter more often-I pretend I am fine with it.

    13. Mother you will never know about my pregnancies-the dead babies. You are not the kind of mother who would understand. These- my secrets who lived and died.

    14. I can’t keep carrying other people’s problems

    15. since i gave birth i have lost my sense of humour.not quite sure when or where i lost it but i have….

    16. I think most people are idiots including some of my friends

    17. sometimes it scares me that we don’t care for or consider each other as we should, as I would like us to – it’s a lonely place where we forget the people we love.

    18. I still enjoy stealing from shops, especially supermarkets.

    19. Sometimes I wonder if I do what I do for the right reasons, and was I really meant to do this at all.

    20. I am afraid. Even though I let my friends and family thing I’m OK and happy I’m afraid of the future and whether I’ll be able find some work. My self esteem doesn’t match my skills so I keep settling for less but pretending it’s ok and part of the plan. When I listen to Sound and Vision by David Bowie it makes me cry because on the top level it’s funky and out there but there’s something primal underneath that calls to the soul.

    21. Behind my Burka, I AM Me, a logical, educated young lady with loads of skills and ambitions.

    22. I sometimes lie to make myself seem more interesting.

  • Na Patnat Pat

    I migrated to find refuge, create a family and a supportive network.

  • Nat Patnat Pat99

    I migrated to the U.K looking for a refuge, create a family and a supportive network.

  • Asmith

    discomfort and little trust, you want to change something that doesn’t appear to need changing in anybody else’s eyes.

  • Jay Holmes56

    folded yet tangled, clear but what? The constant instinct to
    Cover up, how do you feel when you
    let go?

  • anonandon

    I don’t really know what I want to do next. What career?

  • shouldbeanon

    i think it is prettty much a dead cert that my dad is a closet gay. i think he is in love with my husband. but really this should be anonymous and we shouldn’t be forced to leave an email address.

  • IJAD Dance Company

    We have done all we can to keep this anon as possible. We will not share your email address with anyone.

  • Prudyst

    I seduced a blind person

  • Antonpluto870

    I don’t know the name of the first person I kissed.

  • Antonpluto870

    I’m often pretending to be more capable and well-informed than I am

  • Gabel

    I have an Elton John Album

  • Blukky

    My love for my children is no secret my love for my husband is no secret. I am not sure it’s good to have a secrets

  • Srari

    I am so tight and I don’t know how to open up for human contact

  • Pipoulo

    I wouldn’t have minded if I was pregnant.

  • Twatto

    I fear the death of the people I love.

  • Pattto

    Cambridge saved me! I was wrongly imprisoned…. after my release I became a teacher here.

  • Trokto

    I just stole 50p from the women institute

  • Tasouko

    I buried my unborn baby under the cherry tree in my garden. I loved the father who was the ex-partner of my best friend. He is the only one who knows. We still love each other and the cherries from the tomatoes are delicious.

  • drama

    i dramatise everything that has happened to me because it seems that i can’t live without drama. i believe that’s what caused my depression.

  • Confused

    I keep thinking I’m in love with someone new but I still can’t help looking at my ex’s facebook page every so often and feeling something that could be sadness, jealousy or just sick.

  • N. Knohone

    I have always felt guilt that due to my youth and inexperience, I was never able to properly show my gratitude to the family that helped me at what was a difficult time for them.

  • Galgun

    I stole my mum’s car before I was old enough to drive and I almost ran into a tree.

  • Petit

    Leaving the door quietly and slowly, sense of guilt, running to escape, hiding my face behind

  • Petit

    picture secret

  • ??

    I really enjoy watching bad ‘made for tv’ films.

  • Rachel Mariner

    Rachel: It’s not that hard. It’s amazing what you can do when you try.

    Bop: What is your story tonight?

    Rachel: Can I just say? Look how pretty this is. The lights on the town. Look how pretty the Reservoir is. I love it here. (pause) I told her I was babysitting at the Stebbins.

    Bop: Yeah?

    Rachel: She never calls when I’m babysitting.

    Skippy: But what if she needed to find you for an emergency?

    Rachel: She doesn’t need me. Don’t worry! It will be fine. Some things are worth the risk, you know. You guys are my best friends. Sitting around talking to you guys is, like, the most wonderful magic. It’s, like, ahhhhhhhhhh.

    Bop: OK, so, yesterday my Mom and I had a big fight over getting my teeth capped. She says we don’t have the money but I know for a fact she puts a dollar in that offering plate every damned day.

    Rachel: Your mom goes to church every day?

    Bop: Did I not tell you? This is her new thing. The grouchier Fred gets, the more Carol goes to church.

    Rachel: Can you imagine having to go to church every day? How much would that suck? I have to go twice on Sundays now because they have a Missionary Speaker Series and I fucking hate it. I wake up on Sunday morning with this pit in my stomach. (brief pause) How much do caps cost?

    Bop: It costs four hundred and seventy dollars.

    Rachel: So if she didn’t leave any money for a year and a half she would have enough money.

  • Rr

    I have sat on my roof for years and my mother has no idea. I go there to think.

  • Klass

    My secret is that some days I wish Icould freeze time all around me, and pack a small bag and a passport, and run away someplace really far away without telling anyone where i am going and what i am doing. I would go to a quiet place and unscrew my eyeballs out of my head and spring clean the insides of my brian. Once i felt i had aired my head a bit, I would screw my eyeballs back into my head, and return to my life ( unfreezing time on my return) so no one knew i had even gone.

    I sometimes visualize the above without going anywhere….

  • Peter

    I cannot cope with polite people anymore! Why can’t colleagues, friends, managers say what they have in mind?

  • Ginger

    The ginger man with a red waistcoat is very scary (very scary)

  • Asgood

    Sometimes I think…..if this is as good as life gets, I am not so interested:

  • Alan

    Alan Turing was treated unbelievably badly by the U.K, despite the fact that he saved millions of lives, and maybe won the war for the U.K

  • Lawyer

    She made me swear never ever to tell anyone her secret-: that her younger brother was in prison for manslaughter- She was a lawyer and it could damage her career if colleagues found out. I have never told!

  • Hi

    I wish he died and not her.

  • Deconstructed

    When I was very young and not what you would call a natural social person; it was always so hard to be liked by people, I’d always be the quite, good boy. I always remember one foolish day of rebellion and succumbing to peer pressure when I was only 11 years old. What started out as a childish prank with a couple of other children of setting our own camp fire in a farmers field, got out of hand and grew beyond or control.

    I have no idea how bad it got, I do know the fire engines had to come and stop it. I know I hid under my mothers ironing board thinking that would hide me from my role in what we had done. I knew instantly I had done something terrible.

    It’s only with age do you really understand what impact that might have had and all the terrible ‘what if’ are now playing in my mind.

    … all I can say is that I apologise and I’ll always carry this burden round with me.

  • Ko

    The space at the bottom of my grandmothers garden

  • Br

    English mentality is fragile!!!!!!

  • Her

    I injected heroine once when I was 18 …………….

  • Cityworker

    I wonder what my colleagues functions are! What do they do?

  • Guesswho

    The white are still on the top in the city!

  • Dip

    I am still an non documented immigrant. And that means living a different kind of reality. It means going about my day in fear of being found out. It means rarely trusting people, even those closest to me, with who I really am

  • Nude

    To swim in the nude

  • Translate

    ik voerde de hat van de buren zatlengif

    I performed the hat of the neighbors zatlengif

  • Recyle

    Here is my contribution to your Secrets Project:
    I was rummaging around in a charity shop in Blackheath as a little respite from my walk this morning and as I was looking in the book section I came across a book titled: ‘Journeys of a Sufi Musician – Kudsi Erguner’. I thought to myself this does look very interesting and came with a free CD of Sufi music. ( I do like a bit of Sufi music – great for meditation I find! I don’t know a lot about it so maybe this book will give me further insights.) Anyway as I opened the book quite randomly I was immediately drawn to two quotes by Rumi on secrets!

    Each one understood me according to his own feelings
    But none sought to know my secrets

  • Recycle

    My secret however is not far from my sorrow
    But neither ear nor eye know how to percieve it

    Maybe I’m just a secret Sufi music enthusiast!! I heard my first piece several years ago at a music festival in Greenwich celebrating ‘world music’ and I was hooked. I feel there is so much beyond what we could see and hear – the invisible, yet this can remain hidden. Very much on par with our discussion on emotional bodies of intelligence…

  • Stjohn

    In 1941 my father as an 11 years old moved away from London to Cambridge to avoid the bombs in the city. 1 week later a German bomber flew over Cambridge and dropped a bomb down. No one was hurt and it was the only experience of war in Cambridge. He than went to be a st John’s college choir boy. He is now 82yrs old and I will take him back to st. Johns very soon.

  • Ha

    Hey mama you think I’m staying at a friends house……YOU ARE WRONG

  • Intimate

    I have a mole in a very intimate spot

  • Da

    Nobody knows how sad I am at not seeing/hearing from my daughter more often- I pretend I am fine with it!

  • Afra

    I am afraid to die!

  • Sis

    I am worried about my sister. There is a core part of her that has gone, and I thinkshe is being restrained by her partner. I want her back!

  • Pubs

    Hello pubs. You think I’m 18…you are wrong

  • Derek Ogbourne
  • Fizza

    I am going on a date and I don’t want to tell my parents that I am going on a date for the 25th time.

  • Jackie

    I ate 5 donuts and 2 cream cakes that I got from a shop up the road. I threw away the boxes and cleaned my mouth. They tasted so good.

  • Sam

    I don’t know why I do the things I do. I don’t know why I want to be successful. I don’t know why I want to make change and help people. I just don’t know.

  • Bb

    I am afraid to be alone in life. I don’t want to end up lonely like my mother

  • Bb

    Sometimes I’m haunted my the mistakes of my past and fear I haven’t really been forgiven

  • Gen

    I love being generous with the other in the U.K and watch how he/she reacts to it!!

  • 77mars

    I haven’t told my parents I once did an abortion

  • anon

    I often feel jealousy. I never express it because I am worried that it will hurt my Ego. I am also ashamed of that ego and am in constant battle with it in terms of my career. I find that I often don’t push myself to the limit because I am afraid of not reaching my goal. I find this very hard to come to terms with.

  • Anna MESZ

    My secret is that Sometimes I don’t think about what I am doing, because thinking about it scares me to much. I just do it. And is not good not nice.But I just do it.

  • Rachelmaybank

    I stole a Peter Rabbit rubber when I was 6. I was so scared of going to prison I threw it out the window!

  • Bb

    I secretly wish I had more courage, I wish I was brave enough to do everything I want and feel more freedom in my life.

  • Starlight

    Sometimes I spy on my boyfriend’s facebook or texts.. I never tell him, it’s just a ridiculous thing to feel more secure about his feelings..Let’s hope I’ll never find something weird!!

  • Ok

    I am scared to love and let myself trust.

  • Hei


  • Anonimous

    Once, my former boss kissed me after a company’s party while I was working for him. The worse part is that his girlfriend was my flatmate at that point. I never told her.

  • 123

    I have a jelous personality, I don’t like it, but I recognise it.

  • Gov

    During the time when parking restrictions came in and all residential areas had to have controlled parking zones our road was left without as there had been protests and petitions done to stop the street from getting them. However, one day the council decided to come and put them in anyway with double yellow lines 3 or 4 car spaces down each side of the street leaving very small amount of room to park. This was obviously illegal and was done to prove a point to the street that had rejected the CPZ. So, one night at about 02:00 me and my mum went out with a bucket of black paint and painted over the yellow lines as a sign we weren’t going to put up with it. The act was later reported and put in the local newspaper asking for anyone who knew anything to come forward. Luckily nobody saw us and we got away with it.. Wahoo!!

  • Lkh

    I am so afraid of death – as much of seeing people being left behind, as of being myself left behind, or leaving my loved ones behind …and even almost feeling the “Angst” of someone who knows he or she might die…

  • Jenjenb

    I tell everyone that I have never been unfaithful and that fidelity is really important to me. But actually, 20 years ago, I had an affair with my flat mate whilst I was in a long term relationship with a boyfriend. I managed to define the affair in my head as being ‘acceptable’ because no-one, not even our flat mates, knew about it; and because my long term boyfriend lived a three hour train journey away; and he was a student, so was probably having an affair himself anyway, so that made it ok. Why I lie about it now, all these years later, I don’t know.

  • winter pink

    I want a job.

  • Germaphob

    i hate when people sit on my bed. germs!

  • Janedoe

    when i was 12, my mom had breast cancer so she had to undergo chemotherapy and radiation. she knew her hair would fall out. she decided to have my dad shave it off. i stood there with my brother, pretending that “everything was alright” and watched. she kept telling us that it was okay and not to worry. but as i stood there i only felt pain, fear and sadness. but i couldn’t cry. i couldn’t be weak. so i stood there. my brother ran and hid in his room. i still i can remember every second that my dad cut her hair off. i remember how sick she got. i remember how i had to hold everything in. it still hurts.

  • Mimi

    We wanted to revenge one of our friend, and we gave him a laxative into drink.

  • Bob

    Velazquez’s “Rokeby Venus” in National Gallery London shows a nude woman but you can’t see – unless you look very carefully on a certain angle – that a suffragette slashed the painting during the campaign to get women’s votes.

  • Angry

    My brother decided to abandon the family because he decided that have stabbed him in the back by taking care of our elderly frail father and our week sister. I can’t understand?????????????

  • Brick Lane on 12-8-12

    My mate used to have two pet rats and my friend and I fed them lots of drugs, the day after they died but he never found out why… they were crawling all over the cages!

  • Brick Lane on 12-8-12

    Don’t tell me to Shhhhh!

  • Brick Lane 12-8-12

    I never told my mother how much I loved her before I lost her.

  • Brick Lane 12-8-12

    I went completely insane for three years.

  • Brick Lane 12-8-12

    It’s just a completely different country from when I left it 25 years ago, it’s the immigration… (to be continued)…

  • South Bank

    Date in every country

  • South Bank

    I want a baby

  • South Bank

    I have never used the internet

  • South Bank

    I’ve decided to terminate my pregnancy, my heart is broken.

  • South Bank

    My brain is done in seeing all these people happy

  • South Bank

    I’ve never had sex

  • The Secret Keeper

    I am going to tell you a secret…. but not yet!

  • foreverhidden

    I used to selfharm and while I pretend everything is okay, I still hurt myself in other ways that aren’t as obvious as cutting.

  • JH

    I sing when I cycle to keep me motivated and out of boredom

  • J

    I am afraid of failing.

  • er

    I’m beginning to lie a lot, to a lot of people, to keep them happy and prevent them getting cross with me. I’m forgetting about me and what I want

  • cat

    I believe that I have superpowers..

  • verity

    I am frightened to be alone and die alone

  • Freddy frog

    One of my close family members was arrested and went to prison

  • Cheeky@hotmail.com

    Sometimes I hate
    myself so I imagine doing something amazing that positively effects the whole
    world, it makes me feel like a superhero

  • trust@hotmail.com

    I like to be tied up
    and strangled during sex. It’s not an orgasm thing, I just like to feel the
    total exchange of power to another person who enjoys taking it. It’s scary but
    the trust is immense.

  • y

    i hated so much my life for a period, that i thought about suicide

  • Someone New

    I fall in love too easily

  • paloma

    My addiction to make other people happy is beyond my control! I love seeing people’s eyes filled with joy!!

  • heiri937

    I imagine a crash and my imminent death everytime I take off in a plane – and it is never such a scary thought.

  • Lola

    I learnt how to whistle at the age of 21!

 ©2017 IJAD Dance Company

Registered Charity: 1080776